In my practice for couples therapy in Munich-Isarvorstadt, I support you and your partner in rediscovering a deep connection that goes far beyond everyday life, household chores and children. My aim is to help you develop mutual understanding and respectful interaction with each other in order to strengthen your relationship in friendship and intimacy and to break out of mental load.
When and why is couples therapy useful?
Being a parent can be wonderful and enriching – but it can also be very challenging. Many couples only realize late in the process how much their relationship changes with the daily routine of having children. Conflicts increase, closeness decreases, and at some point it feels like you're just roommates or managers of the family's daily routine.
I support parents who are going through difficult times in their relationship, helping them develop new interaction and communication strategies. The goal is for you to feel like a team again, to be able to resolve arguments constructively, and to deepen your closeness, love, and trust in your partnership despite the demands of family life. Because when you're doing well as a couple, the whole family benefits.
If your relationship is strained and you can't handle the situation your own; if you feel you've reached an impasse but want to give your relationship a new chance, then I'll be happy to support you in giving your relationship a new chance with the scientifically based Gottman method.
You don't have to be perfect – just willing to make a change.
Is your relationship no longer feeling safe?
Quarrels, misunderstandings, distance – you feel like you you're no longer connected to each other?
I support couples and parents who are at this exact point.
As a systemic couples and family therapist, I have already supported numerous couples and families who have lost themselves in crises, stress or estrangement. I am an expert in systemic couples and family therapy and work with the scientifically based couples therapy according to Gottman, if necessary combined with trauma therapy and mindfulness-based methods.
Being parents, staying a couple
Your first step back to more connection starts here! Book an initial consultation now and find out what steps you can take to get out of the crisis.
How many sessions does it take?
I offer couples therapy in two models:
If you choose this option, we will meet at regular intervals for sessions. It has proven useful to meet weekly in the initial stages of therapy.
As the therapy progresses, the sessions will become less frequent until you feel that the relationship has stabilized and you are doing well cope on your own.
Weekly meetings in the initial stages are a recommendation and not a must. We decide together, depending on the respective situation, how often we meet. From experience, I can say that you should expect 8 to 15 sessions.
For a long-term and effective change I recommend an approach with two intensive sessions of five hours each, which take place at an interval of one month.
In the first session, we jointly develop targeted exercises that are precisely tailored to your situation. You can integrate these into your daily routine in the following weeks and feel the first changes.
In the second session, we take a deeper look at your individual goals and possible obstacles. You will receive further impulses and strategies to sustainably strengthen your relationship.
This structured approach replaces in many cases the classic couples therapy with about 10 sessions and provides you with an effective, focused process.
If you are interested in this format, please contact me by phone or email so that we can find arrange a free 30-min online-call to discuss further details.
Does couples therapy guarantee that a relationship will be saved?
Each couple's relationship and the problems they are struggling with are always individual. The outcome of the therapy is therefore open and depends very much on the couple and each individual partner.
Therapy creates time and space for the couple to get closer and understand each other better. In the course of the sessions, you get the opportunity to look behind the scenes and better understand the inner world, the needs and motivations of yourself and your partner. You learn to move from a conflict gridlock into a dialogue. Many couples are able to save their relationship and increase their well-being in the partnership. However, some couples come to the conclusion that they have reached the end of the common journey. In this case too, couples therapy provides a solid basis for a peaceful solution. A peaceful separation is enormously beneficial not only for the couple themselves, but also for their children.
What is the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy?
The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy is based on Dr. John Gottman’s research that began in the 1970’s and continues to this day. The research has focused on what makes relationships succeed or fail. From this research, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have created a method of therapy that emphasizes a “nuts-and-bolts” approach to improving clients’ relationships.
This method is designed to help teach specific tools to deepen friendship and intimacy in your relationship. To help you productively manage conflicts, you will be given methods to manage “resolvable problems” and dialogue about “gridlocked” (or perpetual) issues. We will also work together to help you appreciate your relationship’s strengths and to gently navigate through its vulnerabilities.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy consists of five parts.
Early in the assessment phase, you will be given some written materials to complete that will help me better understand your relationship.
In the first session we will talk about the history of your relationship, areas of concern, and goals for treatment.
In the next session, I will meet with you individually to learn each of your personal histories and to give each of you an opportunity to share thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. In the final session of assessment, I will share with you my recommendations for treatment and work to define mutually agreed upon goals for your therapy.
Most of the work will involve sessions where you will be seen together as a couple. However, there may be times when individual sessions are recommended. I may also give you exercises to practice between sessions.
The length of therapy will be determined by your specific needs and goals. In the course of therapy, we will establish points at which to evaluate your satisfaction and progress. Also, I will encourage you to raise any questions or concerns that you have about therapy at any time.
In the later stage of therapy, we will “phase out” or meet less frequently in order for you to test out new relationship skills and to prepare for termination of the therapy. Although you may terminate therapy whenever you wish, it is most helpful to have at least one session together to summarize progress, define the work that remains, and say good-bye.
In the outcome-evaluation phase, as per the Gottman Method, four follow-up sessions are planned: one after six months, one after twelve months, one after eighteen months, and one after two years. These sessions have been shown through research to significantly decrease the chances of relapse into previous, unhelpful patterns.
In addition, commitment to providing the best therapy possible requires ongoing evaluation of methods used and client progress. The purpose of these follow-up sessions then will be to finetune any of your relationship skills if needed, and to evaluate the effectiveness of the therapy received.